Saving the Series: Spiderman, Part II

In the last installment of "Saving the Series," I diagnosed just what went wrong in Spiderman 3. There were, conveniently, three problems:

1.) Too many villains
2.) Too much disparity in talent
3.) Too many personal issues

Today, I want to propose possibilities for the next film or group of films in the Spiderman franchise.

In general, I think there needs to be a major change in philosophy. The original film trilogy strove to be loyal to the comic book itself. The villains came straight from the comic books, along with the same general cast of characters (Peter Parker, Mary Jane Watson, Uncle Ben, Aunt Mae, J. Jonah Jameson, even Flash Thompson). The relationships and story arcs were tinkered, but that should come as no surprise. Comic books stretch for years and years, but each individual issue needs to weave some short, simple episode into the overall story arc. Films can, in a single shot, cover a broader story, but don't have years to devote to the various human relationships. Still, the guiding principle for Spiderman was to substantively adapt the substance comic book into a film.

For a time, this was successful, but, as documented in the last post, it grew cumbersome and, by the third film, the production crew was clearly firing all the ammo they had left. It seems counterintuitive that the comic book series, a decades long font of characters and storylines, may have run dry, but the reality is that comic books just aren't sophisticated enough to motor a film trilogy. The individual episodes in comic books is simple and often repeated as the series progresses. Creative teams for a given comic may change, but the approach generally doesn't. The longer plots that stretch for years -- usually those surrounding the personal relationships of the heroes involved -- tend to be patchwork and incoherent, much of the time advanced in fits and starts as suits the publisher. Let's face it, there's a reason most people outgrow comics. It's the same reason most of us avoid people who don't outgrow comics. (Actually, I'm not sure it is the same reason, but seriously, avoid people who haven't outgrown comics).
The problem for the Spiderman series, as I see it, is that it has to move beyond the constraints of the comic book upon which it's based. I'm sure this seems sacrilegious, but I promise quality results. In that vein, let me introduce some potential villains and personal conflicts that could feature in a new Spiderman trilogy. Based upon these examples, you can decide for yourself whether I'm right.

New Villains:

• Quarterlife Crisis: spawned from a 20-something who has lost his sense of direction after dropping out of college and then, ironically, dropping into a chemical vat, this villain has the power to cripple Peter's sense of purpose. Could play in well with a storyline focused on Peter questioning his future in whatever applied science he's always studying.

• Bad Girlfriend: she has the power to ensnare her victims with charm before leveling them with emotional baggage and competitive behavior. Obviously, if her alter ego woos Peter, the whole cheating on Mary Jane thing makes a great personal story.

• Toby Maguire: he looks like a normal actor, but as soon as he's cast in any role, he completely destroys the film through his forced performances and incessant voice cracks. Because Maguire resembles Peter, there are great possibilities for a plot that involves the evil Maguire posing as Peter and convincing all his loved ones to believe he has become a total sop.

New Personal Conflicts:

• Mary Jane gets preggers: but the baby doesn't have spider-powers. Is it Parker's kid or did Mary "my plain looks attract every eligible bachelor in New York" Jane conceive via an illicit affair? Peter must decide whether his love for Mary Jane extends to his bastard of a son.

• Harry Osborne comes back from the dead: . . . and continues to be grumpy over Willem Dafoe's death. In this personal story, Peter must come to terms with the limits of his superpowers, particularly his lack of superhuman imperviousness to whiny little babies.

• Identity crisis redux: Peter-cum-Spidey questions his identity a la Spiderman 2, except this time he doesn't ask whether he ought to bear superheroic responsibility. Instead, he questions whether his vulnerability to voice cracking, his inability to turn in a convincing performance and his appearance in The Cider House Rules do not together impinge on his capacity to bear superheroic responsibility. Did I mention I hate Toby Maguire?

So there you go -- three new villains, three new personal conflicts. I think I've given the studio enough free labor on this one. Can't wait for Spiderman 4.