Fred Thompson: The Movie

Fred Thompson's embattled campaign has received no reprieve from the media lately. In addition to the SNL skit below, newspapers have documented Thompson's inability to stir up much enthusiasm from even nominal supporters.




As lampooned in the SNL skit, Thompson seemed to hit a new low when he had to demand applause from an audience:



Is there a cure for the robotic and emotionless attitude exerting a stranglehold on Thompson's campaign? Creative Differences thinks there is and, as always, is here to help.

As many people know, Mr. Thompson is not only a former senator for the state of Tennessee, he has also appeared in numerous film and television roles, notably in The Hunt for Red October and In the Line of Fire, as well as a recurring role in the television series "Law & Order."

"Is this really the right outfit for Rear Admiral Joshua Painter of the USS Enterprise? And should a Republican really play the rank of rear admiral? What? It's an honest question."

Before I can prescribe the cure for Thompson's weakened campaign, I need to make a diagnosis (dudes, I am rocking these metaphors). My professional opinion is that Mr. Thompson has played so many roles for so long, he no longer knows how to "play" a real human being, as it were. He has instead become an empty husk, a mere vessel for his many memorable Hollywood roles.

So what to do? I recommend, in addition to rest and exercise, that Mr. Thompson run for president in cinematic form. No, no, I'm not recommending some kind of lame campaign documentary. Instead, I suggest that Mr. Thompson, produce, direct and star in a drama depicting the ups and downs of an ultimately successful presidential campaign. At the very least, it will provide Mr. Thompson the chance to experience what running a real presidential campaign would actually be like.

He was a senator, a lover, a dreamer, and a character actor. His approach was controversial, his resolve unforgiving, and his love of Thin Mints unmatched. When he came to Americans with his vision of hope, most of them wouldn't listen, or they would fall asleep before they could decide. But because he believed, he refused to take "no" for an answer . . . or accept silence as tacit, uninterested way of saying "no."

With Former Senator Fred Thompson starring as Former Senator Fred Thompson, Brit Hume as Richard Nixon, and Julia Roberts as Democratic contender Hilary Clinton, Miramax Pictures brings you a story of triumph over adversity and values over gender parity in politics.

His opponents tried to discredit him. His allies struggled to remember his name or what he looked like. Yet, when it mattered the most, he rose from the ashes of defeat and seized the burning fires of victory before strangling the obnoxious throat of turgid metaphor.

This October, Fred Thompson is The Last Candidate Standing