Not gay, just differently magical

The world received shocking news this past weekend. Following in the footsteps of "Ellen," another fictional character has made the courageous decision to come out of the closet. After intense deliberations with author J.K. Rowling, Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, decided to announce to the world that he is, in fact, gay. Apparently, the signs had been there all along: the relationships that all ended at the same point, the awkward glances cast in the direction of Grindelwald, and constantly saying things like, "Roger thought I was gay. Weird, huh? I mean, me, gay? Come on. Right?"

With the conservative right likely poised to leap for Dumbeldore's throat (they were already upset with his inclination to wizardry -- another hateful lifestyle), it is going to be a hard time for him. "We're both trying to figure out how to move on," said Rowling at the press conference where she made the announcement, "But we are sure that now was the right time to tell the world something we have both known for a very long time."

In light of the legions of children addicted to the Harry Potter saga, the revelation will bring the issue of homosexuality to the fore of household discussion. Parents, many of your children are going to be asking some hard questions in the next few days. Fortunately, Creative Differences is here to help with a little primer on some of the questions you might face.

Q: What does it mean to be gay?

A: It means that you like other wizards of the same gender. Take Harry, Ron and Hermione, for example. I know that Ron winds up with Hermione. But imagine if he had liked Harry instead in, you know, that way.


Q: So what is coming out of the closet then?

A: Well, let's say Ron did like Harry, but they were worried no one would understand, so they used Harry's invisibility cape to hide their illicit trysts. Coming out is Ron saying, "You know what? I don't want to hide behind this silly cape anymore. I want people to know that I like Harry."

Q: Is being gay a choice?

A: Most people don't think so. Just like straight people, gay people say that it's just the way they are, kind of like wizards. Wizards don't choose to be able to wield magic, they just can. Think of gay people as wizards whose magic wands only respond to wizards of the same gender.

Q: Is Draco Malfoy gay?

A: Probably. He suffers from what we call repression.

Q: What's that?

A: It's complicated