Weekly Hebdomad

Three is a magic number. Three twice is six. Six and one is seven. Se7en is a film starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey and Gweneth Paltrow's head (oops, gave away the ending). Ok, I'm done.

7. Weekly Plot:

Criminal lives illicit life guilt free. One day, Criminal meets Orphan and is forced to take her in off the street. Orphan changes Criminal, makes him see the error of his ways. Bureaucratic Forces of Good (BFC, i.e. institutions such as police force, adoption agency, etc.) threaten Orphan. In act of penitence, Criminal sacrifices self to save Orphan from BFC, helps good guys see that BFC is just as bad as Criminal and that Orphan deserves love.

6. Weekly Are You F@&king Kidding Me?:

There will DEFINITELY be a full post on this next week. Until then, make your own, unadulterated judgment . . .



5. Weekly Trailer:

"Jane was good at taking care of everyone, but she never took care of herself." Oh yes, they went there.



4. Weekly Awesome Headline:

"Vietnam vet's story resonates with filmmaker"

Almost as much as coke!

(I'm ready to be inspired . . . my nose is bleeding)

3. Weekly Smart Career Change:

Conservative commentator Norman Podhoretz has made the transition to novels with his new book, The Long Struggle Against Islamofascism, a Romance. The New York Times provides a plot synopsis:

Mr. Podhoretz, who last summer called upon President Bush to use military force to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear arsenal, writes in these pages of all the “progress” that is being made in neighboring Iraq, embraces the Bush administration’s aggressive policy of pre-emption and asserts that George W. Bush will one day be recognized “as a great president,” an heir not just to Truman but to Lincoln as well.

Not to wear my politics on my sleeve, but even Republicans should be enlivened by the fabulous world Mr. Podhoretz weaves with his painstaking and fastidious prose. Finally, a new and exciting storyteller for our generation!

2. Weekly Dig at Harry Potter:

A signed first edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone sold for nearly $41,000 at Christie's.

We can expect Rowling's next inscription for the reader who sold the book to read something like:

"How much do you think you'll get for this one, asshole?

Love always,
J to the K"

1. Weekly Thing You Need to Know:

Apparently, television really is to blame for social ills, just not the way you expected.